澄海实验小学
503
林雯
Hello, everyone. Today is special. Why? Because today is my birthday, we hold a birthday party at home. I can wear my favourite dress. I can invite many friends to come to my party.
When the party begins, we eat a birthday cake and sing the birthday song. The cake is very big and beautiful. It’s tasty and sweet. We eat a lot.
After that
,
my friends and parents give me many presents. Wish me a happy birthday! I’m very happy.
I love my birthday party!
Kelly
老师点评:小作者用轻松的语气描写自己的生日晚会,
活泼生动,形象有趣。文章结构紧凑,层次清晰,看得出小作者的语言功底不错。
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